Zoats Recipe: How To Make Green Porridge Taste Good

Every now and again a trend comes around in the wellness world that makes me heave just thinking about it. Oil pulling? Yack – I’ve tried it and the oil gets hot in your mouth and you end up accidentally swallowing it and then gagging for the next 30 minutes. Bulletproof coffee? *raises hand as a physical barrier*. Vaginal steaming? I’m not gonna lie I’ve actually watched a fair few videos on YouTube about it (have I mentioned before that I’m the Queen of Procrastination?) and the whole process is rather amusing.

Enter Zoats. If you follow some fit babes on Instagram then the chances are that you’ve heard of it, or at least scrolled past a beautifully set out flat-lay featuring it. The premise is easy – grate up a courgette and add it to your morning dose of porridge. Stomaching it however? Not to much. I have to admit that I’d been toying with the idea of trying it for well over a year before I finally plucked up the courage. I’m not the biggest fan of courgettes at the best of times and the idea of chomping down on one before 9am gave me the same feeling in my stomach as that when it was cross country time at school. BUT, one morning I finally gave it a go and after a couple of tentative spoonfuls, I had to conclude that it wasn’t as bad as I’d imagined. It wasn’t the best porridge I’d ever had, but I did feel well smug that I’d consumed a vegetable for breakfast instead of my usual three croissants.

If you fancy a recipe then bookmark these two for a year’s time when you’ve finally worked up to it; either Zanna Van Dijk’s one, or the recipe featured in ‘The Vertue Method’ by Shona Vertue. Once you’ve seen one recipe though, you’ve seen them all. It’s just your standard porridge fare with a courgette grated it. The key that I’ve found is to grate it up real small. So I use a grater that I’d usually use for something like shaving parmesan over Spaghetti Bolognese (now we’re talking!). That way the texture doesn’t really effect the user experience of the whole thing.

My overriding feelings about Zoats are that although it’s not as bad as you expect, I still prefer my courgette-free porridge more. So for me, this is a recipe that I’ll crack out whenever I feel like a balloon or feel like I need to up my fruit and veg intake because I’ve been a bit slack with it all. It actually is really filling and does the whole cliché thing of ‘keeping me going till lunchtime’, but it seriously does. Here are my two tips to make it slightly more palatable…

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE PROTEIN

Both of the recipes that I use suggest to use a scoop of protein powder to your Zoats. Not only does this help with texture – it depends what type of protein you use, but if you go for a Whey variety then you’ll end up with a fluffy, almost cake-like feel when you dunk your spoon in – it also helps with flavour. I like to go for a vanilla flavoured one because anything that tastes even slightly like ice cream gets a thumbs up in my books. It also gives your breakfast a protein boost. I’ve been noticing a real difference since I’ve begun attempting to add a hit of it into every meal. It stops me snacking (as avidly) and it aids recovery from gym workouts. It’s a good egg, ol’ protein.

ADDITIONAL FLAVOURINGS

Here’s where you can get a little bit fancy. Add some toppings in an Instagram-worthy stripe and all of a sudden it will look too good to eat and you’ll fool yourself into forgetting that the courgette is even there. I personally like I add some fruit – like strawberries or blueberries – for some extra flavour and sweetness, or nuts for some crunch. Of course a wee stripe of chia seeds, freeze-dried raspberry and cacao nibs are the ultimate photographable topping. See – you haven’t even noticed that your breakfast is green! 

Photos by Lauren Shipley

MY KITCHEN ESSENTIALS