The Worst Purchases I’ve Made In My Wardrobe

To even out the odes to jumpsuits and the spendy summer wishlist, it’s time to inject some balance into proceedings around these parts with some purchases that were quite frankly, bad. Being a person who prefers Internet shopping over wrestling with a clammy vest top in a changing room, I enjoy turning my bedroom into a fashion show. Often items that don’t fit or make me feel like a sausage that’s been overstuffed with too much meat, are sent back the same day in their handy pre-labelled package. Or if I’ve made a decision at a later date that it’s not for me, as perhaps I’ve eaten a bit too much Ben & Jerrys over the past month or it turns out that it slices me in two whenever I sit down, then I sling in a bag for the charity shop or pass it onto friends. A waste of money, but that’s something that happens less frequently since the whole capsule wardrobe thing. Plus, not every purchase is perfect. It’s rare though that I really reflect on here about those bad egg items, so today I’m sharing three things which just haven’t worked out for me over the years…

All and any faux fur jackets. If you are familiar with my capsule wardrobe series, then you will know that every autumn/winter season I go on the search for the perfect faux fur jacket that’s weighty and makes me look all chic like those Parisian girls who wear a faux fur with some jeans and ballet flats and look FAB, and doesn’t make me look like I’m wearing five coats at once, Joey-style. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. IT’S. A. FAIL. Often I feel like I’ve stumbled across the one. I’ve seen it on other bloggers looking amazing. Then each time it arrives, I rip open the parcel with excitement to reveal an item of clothing that makes me feel like a rotund pudding when I put it on. Awful. Without fail. I gravitate towards jewel tones and have tried on some cracking emerald and sapphire jackets that look absolutely cracking on the model, but looked like a turd on me. One day I would love to find a leopard print number too. This past winter saw loads of them hit the high-street, but again I just couldn’t find that perfect fit. Annoyingly I have spotted this ridiculously expensive Alice + Olivia one, which I may have to start saving for now to purchase later on in the year *crosses fingers that the fit isn’t right*.

It’s a pursuit that I just don’t think I can give up on. There’s still a feeling in my gut that the perfect faux fur coat exists for me out. This past winter I did find some luck with teddy coats, which are like the slightly less dense sister of faux fur, but one day I’ll be walking around in my Pat Butcher-style leopard print fur baby feeling like a million dollars. I know it.

My Chloé Faye Bag. Now I don’t see this as a huge fail, because I ended up selling it in the end and giving all the proceeds to the Alzheimer’s Society, so the bag got a new loving owner and a juicy amount of money went to charity – it’s all good. However, my Chloé Faye Bag was not the the smartest thing that I’ve ever purchased. In fact, if you fancy yourself a six-month long review then check out this video where I unbox it, show you how I styled it with my outfits and then rounded up my thoughts and feelings after using it for half a year.

It was a beautiful bag and I did end wearing it a fair amount, but when I did it just wasn’t the most practical and that for me is a HUGE bummer. I like everything I wear and use to be practical – it’s the most important thing I look for – so when the thin leather strap digs in to your shoulder and you’re fumbling around with the inner pockets of the bag whilst you’re trying to pay for something and you can’t get the front fastened; I soon realised that I was going to have to part with it. One thing I will say though is that I’m chuffed that I got the limited edition one that was all leather, because I didn’t find it to get dirty as I can imagine the suede one would. If you’re looking for a fancy bag purchase I’d point you in the direction of the Loewe Puzzle Bag (my everyday one), the Celine Trio Pouch (fab for travel, everyday or a clutch) and the Saint Laurent Tote Bag (whatever I use when I need to bring my laptop with me).

Gianvitto Rossi Portofino Leopard Print Sandals. OK, let me get one thing straight here. I would never, ever get rid of these shoes. EVER. They are the shoes that I wore on my wedding day and I wouldn’t change that at all. I didn’t know much about the wedding day, but I knew I wanted leopard print shoes and didn’t see anything else on the market that I liked, and seeing as I bought my dress off the rack I kinda managed to justify a bit of mad purchase on my shoes. The great thing with those calculations are that I’ve ended up with a pair of shoes that I can wear whenever I feel the need to wear heels (I’ve actually had a fair amount of wear out of these in the past year!), and along with a black pair of sandals that I have from Topshop, I feel pretty catered for in the high-heel department.

Here’s the thing. They’re just not that comfortable. They’re ok, but they’re nothing to write home about and for a sandal that’s amounted to more than your average monthly rent payment, I was expecting them to be like walking on little puffs of cloud. Sure, there’s no doubting that they’re well made and a quality piece of kit – the fabric is furry leopard print!!! – but there’s no kick-back in terms of comfort and perhaps I was being naive, but I thought that was part of the expensive shoe parcel? I don’t feel that’s the case and have learnt my lesson with heels. Whatever the price tag they’re just never going to be as comfortable as my Vans. Le sigh. Stick to the high-street heels and treat yourself to a fancy bag instead.

Photos by Lauren Shipley

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